My biggest moments of disappointments/regrets have come as a result of realizing I made the wrong decision. Until recently, I could not trust myself to make the right decisions. Even worse, I remained largely indifferent to a lot things. I was just letting life happen to me instead of living with intention. I wore the badge of having "trust issues" for much too long.
Present day me is a self-proclaimed extroverted-introvert (y'know, a social butterfly who needs her cocoon after a long day of being social); a storytella and testimonygiva. I walk into every situation with a certain level of confidence and grace. It's not that I'm now all of a sudden 100% confident or that I always make the right choices. No. I simply let my no be no, and my yes be yes--including in response to myself. That's spiritual (really, if you're a believer that's an actual scripture)! Now, I practice showing up, knowing that I am prepared to be fully present; to do the best that I can; and then I leave the rest up to God. And on the days I don't feel my best, or I've chosen a seemingly wrong path: I first, acknowledge it, and then I allow myself some grace.
So, how did I get here?
On the first day of the Women In Leadership professional development program I'm enrolled in, at Parkdale Centre for Innovation, I shared that I was feeling accomplished. It was just past 11am on a Tuesday morning, and I had successfully completed 4 out of the 6 things on my to-do-list. For me, this was not the standard. I had just recently graduated from writing 7 to 9-item lists, and then maybe getting 2 or 3 done, if I wasn't feeling overwhelmed by 2pm. And I was always feeling overwhelmed.
The simple act of doing what you say you're going to do, makes you reliable. The more you practice this, the more you become confident in doing so, or whatever it is you set your mind to. Just like exercising--which I also started doing 6days/week! This is how I am building my confidence and learning to trust myself. I keep my word: by not over promising what I can't deliver, and not doing myself a disservice by not following through. And because how you show up for yourself is how you show up for others; this is a great practice for building a circle of trust with others in your personal and professional life.
If you're currently looking for a community of like-minded women to practice showing up with, click here for details of our upcoming self-care session.